Head Accident :(

I hate to write down this story, but I don't want to forget it because it was such a pivotal parenting time with Davis.

On a regular Tuesday morning, 5/2/17, Tripp took Davis into the bathroom on his boppy lounger. The lounger is probably the baby item we used this most... Davis LOVED laying in it! I was putting my makeup on while I was pumping in the recliner and Tripp ran into the den with Davis saying "I dropped him! I dropped him!" Davis was silent screaming... the kind where he couldn't make any noise and holding his breath. It was AWFUL. I didn't understand what happened and Tripp was at a loss for words... we sat down on the couch and just loved on Davis, trying to get him to calm down. He cried and cried and cried. Tripp then told me that he was carrying Davis on the boppy lounger and as he tried to open the bathroom door, he dropped Davis from hip height on the bathroom tile floor. Hit his head :(

As we were sitting on the couch, Davis became super lethargic and could barely keep his eyes open. About 10 minutes later, the side of his head started swelling. First child, first head bump, first swelling... we decided to take him to the doc. We walked into the clinic (normal ped office in Lowell) and saw Dr. Silvey... who ironically was the doc we requested at the reco of Jess Lais after we had Davis, but he wasn't available. He observed Davis (who had calmed down by then) and said he wanted to get an Xray of his skull to determine if there was any damage and he could have possibly fractured his skull. The concern was bleeding in the brain, so the xray would tell us if he fractured it and then we would need a CT scan to confirm if there was bleeding. 

We went to AR Children's hospital down the street from the ped office and waited for an Xray. It was so sad. Tripp and I were both so quiet. I tried to keep my calm and not cry or freak out... because I knew it would kill Tripp to see me so upset. He was devastated and felt so bad for "hurting" Davis. It was a total accident, but it didn't matter. So, we waited for what felt like hours in the waiting room. Davis slept. 

We got called back into the Xray room and as soon as we woke Davis up and had to lay him down, he screamed and cried. We had to hold him down and keep him still for the Xrays :( The doc originally told us that we would get a call with the Xray results and determine next steps, but the Xray lady told us we needed to immediately go back to the ped office because he "banged up his head pretty bad." :(

Our hearts sank. So we went back to the ped office and Dr. Silvey said we needed to go to Fayetteville for a CT scan. I was on the brink of tears every second after this. I asked him what happened if there was bleeding and he dodged the question... wouldn't even answer. We went to Fayetteville and waited about an hour before the CT scan. Sweet boy was exhausted. I held him while they scanned his head in that huge piece of equipment. He was crying and screaming. Then we waited again for the results.

Dr. Silvey called us while we were still in the waiting room and confirmed NO BLEEDING! His head looked great outside of the fracture and all we had to do was let that heal. Nothing else. We could give him Tylenol if he acted really fussy and he would probably be sore, but that's it. Babies are resilient and he will get through this. We were supposed to leave for the beach on Saturday and no concern with him flying either. It was the best feeling. I couldn't help but have thoughts of the worst outcome all day before that... how one small moment could possibly change our lives forever. I stared at Davis all morning and wished with every ounce of my being that I could see what was going on in his head... but we had to wait and be patient. Tripp apologized to me a thousand times that morning, still so guilty for hurting Davis. 

We loved and snuggled him all afternoon... so grateful for the good news. And decided it was time to retire the boppy lounger ;)

FOUR Months!

4 months... my oh my :)

You really love to... put EVERYTHING in your mouth, play on the playmat with the piano, sit up in your lion chair, be outside. When the wind blows in your face, it takes your breath away. It's so funny!

You really don't like to... Sit still or burp. We changed to only burping you 3/4 of the way through your bottle and at the end.. and that has helped!

You know how to... grab things and pull them to your mouth, even the bottle!

For the first time you... grew a tooth! Your front bottom left tooth has officially peaked out from the gum. You are drooling like crazy.

Eating: You are eating 6 oz. 5x a day between 7am and 7:15pm. You have been spitting up more, so we are going to ask the doc about that at your next appt soon!

Sleeping: You are sleeping wonderfully! You may cry a little bit when we put you down at night every once in a while, but you are pretty much out in a few minutes after we lay you in your crib. This month you have been more awake than not when you finish your bottle... and you are not a fan of rocking before we put you down. You just want that head on the mattress :)

Schedule: 
No schedule changing since last month. Wakes up at 6:45am, eats at 7am, naps from 8:30-10am, eats at 10am, naps from 11:30-1, eats at 1pm, naps from 2:30 - 4, eats at 4pm, bath at 6:30pm and eats last bottle at 7:00pm. You are getting more comfortable with being awake from 4-7... and aren't as fussy at night. 

Maternity Leave... is OVER :(

Well, it's finally time for me to go back to work tomorrow. Why can't I just get paid to stay home?? ;) Gah that would be amazing. 

I cannot believe 16 weeks have come and gone... but at the same time, I feel like I haven't been at work in a year. I have been dreading this day for some time. I am so thankful I got 4 more weeks of mat leave unexpectedly and I'm thankful I love where I work and what I do... but man on man I want to be with Davis all day. 

These past 16 weeks have been the most simple weeks of my life... but also SO complicated at the same time. Simple in that my only obligation of the day was to be with Davis and survive. We rarely had obligations. I never knew what day it was. I had to set alarms on my phone to remember when to feed and pump because the days flew by. I never had Sunday-night anxiety. We took it day by day, minute by minute and sometimes second by second as we were waiting for your bottle to warm. Complicated in that I second-guessed every decision we made, exhaustion and completely new territory. Overall, it was absolutely wonderful. Davis has without a doubt changed me for the better. I have been challenged in new ways and have learned more about myself than ever before. My flaws have also been more apparent than ever - He's tested so many things (patience, insecurities, flexibility, inconsistency, exhaustion, etc), but it has been a beautiful journey. It was just he and I spending our day together and that's all that mattered.

He made me a morning person... now THAT is a miracle! ;) I genuinely look forward to waking up and experiencing new things together... getting to know each other in new ways that next day and strengthening our bond. Isn't that what truly living life is all about? I am so glad he changed me in that way.

I'm interested to see how I handle this new chapter of my life as "working mommy." I know I will miss him like crazy, but I also hope I find fulfillment during my hours at work. I hope I'm still as passionate, but I also hope that I bring a fresh perspective of what really matters and how much I let work affect my mood. My main goal is that we continue to life a slow, intentional life. I don't want to constantly be rushing around from here and there, not enjoying our time together as a family. Because those amazing moments that make your heart swell and eyes tear up happen unexpectedly and I don't want to be too busy to miss them. 

What I remember most when I think back to maternity leave and my time with Davis:

• My mom coming over right soon after he was born to watch him so I could sleep or take a bath.
• Mornings with daddy - Davis is happiest in the mornings and I loved our time just the three of us. We would both get up and go wake Davis up together in his crib. It was silly how giddy Tripp and I would get - Tripp would say "let's go wake our son up." In his crib, we'd turn the lights on dim and talk to him and he'd smile and slowly open up his eyes as he was waking up. I changed his diaper and Tripp got the bottle ready and started coffee. I got my coffee and pumped with Tripp fed Davis. After he was done feeding, he put Davis facing him in the boppy and he would smile/coo/make noises and be SO HAPPY. He usually pooped too :) Then Tripp left and Davis and I started our day together.
• Choosing the one time of day I wanted to go run errands. We typically didn't get out twice, just once... and I always did it during his naptime because he sleeps in the car so well. 
• Walking around Target with Davis asleep in the cart and a Coke Icee in my hand.
• Reading babywise a bajillion times a day looking for help/answers when Davis wouldn't sleep.
• Driving to Onyx in Springdale just for some delicious coffee.
• The TODAY Show... I loved getting to watch this! I felt more connected to what was actually going on in the world (and pop culture) than ever before. Especially Hoda and Kathie Lee. 
• The Americans - I had high hopes for watching all of these TV shows/series after Davis was born. I thought Tripp and I would watch them when we were up... but that didn't happen ha. I DID watch 4 seasons of the Americans and I loved every minute. I usually watched it while I was pumping or when Davis was asleep.
• Reading Harry Potter in his rocker. It's so crazy to think back to when I started the first book and how I would swaddle him and read to him and he would always fall asleep... it was such a good way to get him to settle down. Now, he's so much bigger and more alert when we read.
• Black pants, nursing tanks and my Barefoot Dreams cardigans - pretty much what i wore every. single. day. It was fabulous.
• Eating WAY too many sweats. I have never been more hungry in my life than when I'm pumping right now and I could not stop eating sweets. I'd probably be so much skinnier based on all of the calories I'm burning with pumping, but I couldn't put those sweets down.
• Stonemill cranberry pecan bread with turkey and lettuce sandwiches + fritos. I ate this all of the time for lunch.
• Looking forward to 5pm-ish when Tripp came home and it was the three of us :)

We are so fortunate to have people that love him taking care of him when I'll be at work. My mom is watching him Mondays & Wednesdays... and Mrs. Jane is watching him Tuesdays & Thursdays. I'll be working from home with him on Fridays. I'm grateful I'm not dropping him off at daycare with strangers and he will continue to be on our schedule in the comfort of his own home. My biggest, selfish concern is that our bond will be affected... that he won't always look for me in the crowd of people staring at him and trying to make him smile... that he won't always look when he hears my voice across the room... that he will eventually reach for my mom or Mrs. Jane versus me. 

Here's to a new chapter. We got this. 

THREE Months!

How in the world are you three months old?? My goodness we love you like crazy.

You really love to... watch the ceiling fan (we've nicknamed her "Fannie" and she was definitely your first Valentine), watch the TV (not good) and get attention. You also take wonderful naps in your carseat - all snuggly and warm. I think you like it!

You really don't like to... sit still when someone is holding you - you want interaction and to be moving.

You know how to... hold onto items (rattle, pull up blanet/birp cloth), sit up in your Bumbo, follow people around the room with your eyes and head, notice Howie and Reggie now, roll onto your side, but haven't quite conquered rolling to your stomach. It is going to happen any day now!

For the first time you... went to Missouri this month! Squealing and laughing! When you get excited, you let us know :)

Eating: You are eating 5.5 - 6ish oz. 5x a day between 7am and 7:15pm... a week ago, we added the magic sleep suit, did cry it out and put you to bed earlier... eliminating one of your feeds and it has worked wonders.

Sleeping: You have had an AMAZING week of sleep. 12 weeks is where it's at, bud. We believe you have officially started a habit of sleeping basically 12 hours and without any assistance from mommy/daddy. WOO HOO! It's so exciting, but also sad because that means you are getting bigger!

Schedule: 
Wakes up at 6:45am, eats at 7am, naps from 8-10am, eats at 10am, 1pm, 4pm and 7:15pm. You go down right after last feed and we don't go into your room until 6:45am the next morning! You nap for about 30mins to an hour between every feed and we are still swaddling you during the day during naps. We don't let you nap after your 4pm feed and YOU ARE SOOOO TIRED, usually the only time you are actually fussy during the day starts around 6:15pm because you want a bottle and bed. We bathe you at 6:45pm every night as part of your night-time routine... washing your hair every 3 days, body every 2 days... boy parts and bottom every night :) 

It is President's Day so we took your monthly pics with coins that have the Presidents faces on them. Daddy was also GIDDY that we took pics of you in your Trump onesie and added the 1776 ;)

Davis' Baptism

Davis' baptism day was so special! We had so many family and friends come celebrate him and it was a day we will all remember. Tripp and I felt more blessed than ever. I never expected so many people to come. Davis is such a lucky little boy.

Saturday morning at home - the day of his baptism! Daddy burping...

Davis was laying in his boppy lounger on his playmat and all of the sudden, I noticed he had wiggled his way off of it onto the floor. Eeeekkkk!!

We went Memom's so we could see as many people as possible before that night. There were going to be lots of people who wanted to hold and love on him, so we tried to see as many people as we could before that night. Just like Christmas, Barrett was SO excited to hold baby davis!

He wore his moccasins for the first time. OMG - I cannot even handle the cuteness.

Crashed on Aunt KK. I have to say Davis is SO adaptable to when we are off his schedule. He usually takes his longest nap during this time we were over, and he wasn't cranky one bit... he played and played and then finally fell asleep.

We had to be at the church at 4:30 and we actually made it on time! Everyone but Tripp's family ha. Part of the Baptismal Rite occurred before church and they asked that it is easy to access his chest because they anoint his chest with oil, so we changed him into the embroidered slip first. This gown is so special - I wore this as a baby, and so did 6 of my cousins (on the Turner side). All of our names are embroidered with the baptism date and his name is right next to mine :) 

Davis was baptized with two other children. This was during the rite before church. 

Then, we put his gown on before church :)

During mass, we sat on the front row with his Godparents - Mike & Jane Spendio. Everyone gave him an A+ for his behavior ;) He sat in our laps and even fell asleep for a bit. One time he did have some gas and I started worrying about a big blowout (which are LOUD), but he didn't. WHEW!

We somehow lost a sock :)

Water over his head...

Tripp went for the superman pose to avoid water in his eyes haha. Doesn't look very graceful, but oh well!

Introduction of the newest members of the Church :)

My mom was dying that Tripp didn't have the gown nicely draped out - it was all bunched up under him. Oopsies!

Mom and Mary Ann took up the gifts.

Lovin' after church!

Godparents and Monsignor.

Davis' tribe. This wasn't everyone either!

Both sets of Grandparents.

Hollowell family. 

Our family of 3.

We also changed Davis into the outfit Tripp wore when he was baptized.

We had everyone over to mom and dad's for dinner and dessert. It was the best. It was perfect! My mom outdid herself with the decorations. It was so beautiful and nice.

The tables. There were almost 40 people there and we all fit nicely!

Kids table for Barrett and Brooks ;)

The desserts - cake, chocolate covered stawberries and cookies. The cake was made by the same lady who made our wedding cake and we had the same cake! It was DELICIOUS.

The candles were Tripp and I's Baptism candles. So special!

Mrs. Maas cooked the food - we had dates and shrimp for appetizers, and stuffed chicken and spinach manicotti with green bean bundles and salad for dinner. It was perfect! The fire alarms did go off twice when she was cooking which was hilarious. She blamed it on my mom who hadn't cleaned her over in a long time ha!

Aunt Cheryl & Davis.